it takes a village

It takes a village...

I found myself flippantly spouting this phrase in the Costco parking lot the other day.  I was trying to unload my giant packages of granola bars, cucumbers, (and the real reason for my visit) mini chocolate bars for "Halloween."  The already onerous task was complicated by my two girls under two in tow.  A nice lady came up and offered to take my cart back for me.  I had already received a few other nice gestures on the shopping trip and as someone who doesn't accept help well I was feeling humbled yet grateful.  "Thanks.  I guess it really does take a village."  I quipped as she walked away.

"It takes a village to raise a child."
I've heard the African proverb plenty of times before but it really rings true now. My mom and sister both live out of country and Josh and I find ourselves leaning on a myriad of people for help.  In the weeks following the birth of our youngest on Labour Day I was overwhelmed by the support.  People we only casually see, neighbours, friends from church, all bringing by gifts and food.  It was such a blessing. Apart from the odd offer to return a cart, the outpouring of help after a new baby is maybe the closest thing I've seen to the African proverb ringing true in our western society.  As our kids get older we draw further into our nuclear family homes.  As a mom, I saddle myself with the burdens of household chores, and parenting responsibilities despite my exhaustion.  It's almost like the more tired I am, the more I can martyr myself and feel like I'm doing a good job.  Not to say spending time with your kids is a burden but it can feel like it sometimes when you're all alone, especially in the middle of a Saskatchewan winter.

How does any of that tie into our Eco-blog?  The one I have neglected to write in since our second was born last month....    It's amazing how adding one more tiny person to a household can add so much to overall consumption.  I am buying more, throwing away more, wasting more, driving more, taking the easy route.  Basically I am shame spiralling about my environmental impact as a mother of two.
When our first daughter was born I used cloth diapers for about 9 months.  Now I order fancy diapers online that claim to be ethically sourced and environmentally friendly but every time I look at the huge pile of them accumulating in our back alley bin I feel a pang of guilt.

I know some super moms who have way more than two kids who do nothing but cloth diaper.  They say to achieve change, you have to want something more than what you already have. I want a cleaner world for my girls, but in the moment I guess my actions say....I really want more sleep and less laundry.

Then there's my trip to Costco.  I have been trying to support local businesses in my area.  It falls in line with my beliefs to prop up the little guy and try to build an economy with diverse options not run my a few massive players.  But I woke up one day craving those giant cake muffins they have at the Costco bakery and next thing you know I've spent $100.

I guess what I'm trying to articulate is.... I haven't given up.  I have just suffered a few setbacks.  In the past we have ordered from Local and Fresh.  They deliver locally sourced food right to your door.  Also wouldn't it be great to bring back Happy Nappies?   It was a cloth diaper service run in Regina by Sask Abilities.  They would come pickup used diapers and bring clean ones.  There are great people offering services that allow you to have it both ways, be a bit lazy and still less wasteful.

Underlying it all, there's the old proverb.  The decisions we make for our families aren't in a vacuum.  Choices about food and diapers seem trivial but they impact the world.  Then there's the issue of how I model myself for my kids.  That will help shape what kind of global citizens they become.  Josh read this whole article about the environmental impacts of how many kids we choose to have.  It's got us thinking about the whole.... "do we try for a third?"  debate.  That's a topic for another day.  The arguments on both sides are really interesting.  It is obviously also a sensitive and personal issue. That's the interesting thing about families though.  It is a personal decision, and the whole village is waiting to see how it turns out.